Homepage Forums TECA DISCUSSIONS Tantrums, Meltdowns and Explosive Behavior

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  • Maratea Cantarella
    Keymaster
    Post count: 18

    Lets face it, 2e kids can easily become dysregulated. And it can happen anywhere – at home, at school, in the supermarket, at playdates, you name it. This can be especially challenging for us parents, and we can feel overwhelmed, embarrassed and angry when our kiddo starts running around screaming or throwing things or kicking you. In public. In front of the principal. Or at a family gathering. We have all been there. And it really is traumatic.

    As parents, it is so important for us to remain calm when our kids lose control. But that is easier said than done. Yet, over time, we can develop strategies and techniques for staying in control and providing our kids with the boundaries and empathy they need to learn to understand and cope with their own feelings.

    In Tantrums, Meltdowns and Explosive Behavior, we invite you to share the disruptive behavior challenges you and your 2e child are facing, as well as the methods you have found effective for coping. Feel free to include strategies that you use, as well as those that are used at school or by other professionals who work with your child. Sharing your experiences can really help other parents dealing with similar challenges, even if it just lets them know they are not alone.

  • amandaellenchristy@gmail.com
    Participant
    Post count: 2

    My 7-year old 2E gets frustrated with many reading and writing activities. This frustration is generally expressed with aggression – usually verbal but sometimes physical, too. Over time he’s built up a resistance to starting and sticking with activities that are difficult for him. This year his teacher has given him the option of taking up to 5 breaks in the morning, and 5 in the afternoon, usually lasting 3-5 minute each. She’s done a nice job of teaching and reinforcing how to ask for the breaks appropriately and gives him options for specific activities that are regulating for him. The idea is that he learn to use the breaks when he’s feeling dis-regulated. Initially he needed quite a bit of direction, but he’s quickly learned to ask appropriately and its decreased his outbursts considerably. Its a work in progress, but this approach is helping him learn to self-monitor and self-advocate. Its also improved the trust relationship with his teacher and is slowly making him a little more comfortable tackling a difficult activity.

    At home, I will often comment on how my son presents (i.e. To me, you seem mad because you’re using an angry tone, yelling, and your fists are tight. How do you feel?) This brings his attention to the physical expression of the feeling, as well as the feeling itself. I try to do it for happy feelings, too (ex. You seem really excited! You’re smiling, and bouncing, and have a lot of positive energy. Are you excited?) Again, a work in progress, but its helping him find the words for his feelings. He’s pretty good about categorizing feelings as happy or sad, but struggles with everything in between, so I also try to be specific about the feeling he appears to be expressing (ex. furious, frustrated, comfortable, content, elated, etc).

  • Kim
    Participant
    Post count: 3

    I found remaining calm is key in our home, sometimes a challenge for me. Using a calm voice I will say, “when your voice sounds like my voice we can talk.” It’s not always an immediate fix, but it helps.

    I think your use of descriptive language is so helpful too. I know my son doesn’t read non verbal ques well, and being descriptive helps him connect with his feelings.

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